THE WORLD NEEDS SOME GOOD LAUGH!

Gati,Gati, is the village queen of comedy. She would go to a funeral and come back making fun of everyone on how they were crying…

She’s like “Haaaaa. Haha, Chacha has a heart? Hehe, who would have imagined Chacha can cry? Hee... and her laughter will echo across the village, that kind of laughter guys will here, and know she was talking about someone, and it was juicy, very juicy, just hoping it wasn’t them.

The first time I met her, was in the village stream, where everyone fetches water, When she began speaking, I literally sat down and laughed very hard. She can make fun out of anything and everything. I mean, she was talking about a 45 year old man who was crying in his mother’s funeral. I mean earlier on, my mom had already told me about it, and it was a very sad story. Now here comes, Gati, you would have thought those were two very different funerals.

“Now surely, did anyone see Chacha? Haha…the one who had won his trouser up his stomach almost to the chest? I don’t think he has a waist…He was crying like a drunken chicken, that guy is the biggest pretender that ever lived in our time”

Her audience would roll out with laughter and of course inquire why?

She’ll continue.

I know, Africans are naturally comical, but this one is the ringleader of all the village comedians. She would make a concoction of anything and turn it to be funny.

 I remember one day when she came to buy arrow roots from my mom and she got me reading Stephen king’s  ‘The green mile’, she looked at me like she had just seen  something out of this world, I knew, a show was about to begin.

“Ah ah! All this! Are you sure you’ll finish?”

“Yes I will”

“Huh! So does it mean you’ve also read the whole bible?’

“No, not the whole of it, you can’t read the bible like a novel”

“Now, how many people wrote this book, if it’s one person, I’m sure he went mad long time ago…aha ah?” She’ll say it snapping her fingers up in the air, as she tired her lesso.

You see, don’t get me wrong, She’s a very very clever woman, in fact I think her IQ is better than mine, considering on how she looks at things. She’s the typical hardworking and simple African woman, whose stronghold is her witty brain. One thing I like about her is her respect for people, which at times she even makes fun of.

“I wish I was the queen of this village, huh! Sometimes I feel like this is too much, some people do not deserve my respect, ah!”

If laughter is medicine, she’s one great concoction, of a very powerful potion that the elves dropped while touring this part of the world.

I mean, I love comical people, this world is full of very many sad stories, innocent children being left orphans, people being killed all over the world.

 In this world we need more of Gatis, Churchills, Kat Williams,Trevor Noahs and even animated characters like chipmunks,boovs and penguins, to balance our joy and sadness hormones, make our ribs ache out of a good laugh, and our eyes tear up not because of something sad but something good. 

Michael Jackson says its only music that can hit you and it wouldn’t hurt, I bet a good laugh weighs that too.

Well, have a good day filled with many happy moments. Cheers!

CRAZY ERA!

We live in a millennium or rather an era where if someone’s wife is beaten by a neighbor or foreigner, what we do is pull out our phones record or take photos post online, tweet, Whats App, make fun of it and later on unleash our anger on Facebook! Crazy, right?

Well if you doubt this you’ve got to re-watch the Nyandarua clip, Where a pilot allegedly (I feel like I’m misusing this word, because he did push her) pushed a police woman!

Whatever that pilot was high on is no longer recommended for any other pilot. Man, even if you’ve been to the highest clouds you’ve got to measure up your respect up to the same level. Before I get to him pushing a cop! I will say, that was a lady!

 Mind you that lady was there for security reasons, I mean she might have chosen to remain in the office and listen to her favorite radio station while she took tea, but agreed to come and help in the patrol. I can guarantee you this for free, that no lady loves parading herself in this blazing rays unless she’s under some crazy theory of sun-bathing!

I do not know if going to this high place in planes gets one’s mind ‘high’, but this is so off the wall, I mean are you crazy? You know that lady had a gun, huh?

I mean who goes to one’s country and starts pushing cops around, like, is he the Chief Commander of the armed forces?Even our own chief commander, according to the constitution,would never dream of doing such a thing, I mean come on!

In Kenya, I know there are a few untouchable’s like this people who shoot person and claim they thought it was a gazelle, but Mr. Pilot, you’ve got to be helping us a lot, like really big time to imagine you can just push a POLICE WOMAN and masquerade like a god from the clouds who fly’s the Deputy president. That that was crazy!

I’m not saying that people should have lynched that pilot and taught him a lesson of  a lifetime, but my point here is that, their reaction was crazier than what that pilot had done. How about helping the lady off the ground and then maybe confronting the pilot, with some nicely raised voices? Huh?

We all know you get more likes on your photo when you die than when you’re alive, but come on, this is cracked up! People need to revive their consciousness and be a little human and be less robotic.

A TASTE OF THE KURIA RITUNGU AND MUSIC!

A RHYTHM THAT NO WORDS CAN CAPTURE...

If this sounds to you like I’m describing a hearty hot Meal of nyama choma and Kichure (a delicacy known to the Kurian people) its because it’s much better than that.TURUTUTU TURUTUTU TURUTUTU…The Kighoghos, ibhirandi, ibiturani, obokano, erisege, ikibiswi, emborogo, ekerongwe…the list goes on and on. This instruments you do not know, are musical instruments of the Kuria people, they will and can serenade any living creature on planet earth. Man, if there’s one culture I’ve grown to like, its that which nobody knows about. 

 I would listen to Ritungu in the hostel while I thirst for bhusara so badly and wonder why no one knows about this amazing people.

If they know anything it’s that one bad thing, and I’m not talking of cows, because our love for cows is beyond measure, we care so much about them that they sleep in our houses. They are not like pets, if that’s what you’re imagining,because we always end up eating them at one particular time.

 I remember a certain time my dad wanted to sell one of our cows called “kimahara” and it was trouble in the house. For my mom, it was because she needed it for plowing reasons on the farm, but  to me,this cow was now part of family, I felt like 'he' knew us, he could even hear us, but I could not say that to my dad.Come on, my dad would laugh and sell it immediately, and tell me to stop being ridiculous!

That’s for another day. 

Today we talk about kurian music, Ritungu….haaaaa…damn, I’m writing this article while listening to MAGHENA NDARE and I can tell you every nerve in me is in a frenzy, God knows my body and my I are just in a delirium. Sorry I’ve got no better words to explain this feeling that this songs can bring. (Dancing, shaking my head in a rhythmic motion up and down)

 Have you ever, heard someone Araibhaka, somethings cannot be described in words, sorry.

The songs are great if you listen, though the video quality is bad, but that will one day be refined.

Meanwhile grab your ikabhuru (a big cup) gobble down that cold bhusara and join me in this delirium of Kurian music and Ritungu!

A kabhuru is way much bigger though, and gives one a bhusara thirst by just glaring!

Ubhuhanchi bhasani.

S.R.M